Updated: Feb 16, 2019
Describing the process that led me to taking a step out of this everyday positive vs negative energy battle, into seeing the bigger picture - bigger than the physical body and the mind. It’s something that just happened inside of me which is ultimately bigger than me. This shift, let’s call it, that happened, was a follow-up to a series of changes. Mostly letting go of stuck energy in a relationship. That release gave me the space, to put my focus from all of those external factors i was spending my energy on, into myself.
But the shift itself happened in a matter on seconds.
It came, seemingly, from a conversation, exchanging words, questioning reasons and emotions, and also, because it was something we were both dealing with at that moment - the source of pain. In those seconds i felt that the words i was saying, were already there inside of me even before.. i was born. I was talking and listening at the same time because the first time the words i was saying came from beyond the mind. It was not something i had read or heard from people - it came from a source of subconscious. From a source of being. And from those seconds it already happened that the same source of pain I was dealing with at that moment was exposed to light.
It was a game changer from being controlled by this rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions, which i realised there and then are made up by the mind itself, not the reality of things, to becoming a quiet observer - feeling of - there’s more in me than i have experienced so far.
Its like, imagine, you have been an actor on the stage having barely noticeable strings attached to you. They are really hard to see but have enough strength to run you around on the stage - giving a show, showing an image, which the audience can either like or dislike and you change this.. act according to that. Although its causing you pain and sadness, because it doesn’t come from your core being. And this all seems natural because you were placed there and all your life experiences tell you that this is how you should function and how everybody functions.
Then a small breeze of air allows you to peek behind the curtain.
Behind the curtain that you never even realised could be covering something. And you see a machine work of spinning wheels attached to those strings that you barely noticed but now, are, first of all, painfully aware of, and second of all, realising the opportunity to cut those strings and let the machine work run around on its own. Being free from those strings allows you to see that there is a whole universe of light and joy beyond that stage that was always there and will always be there. And it was even surrounding you while you were giving that act but you never had the opportunity to experience that.
There is no stepping back from this. Sensing this bigger picture of light can change from intensity throughout your life experience but its always there, present. Now, coming out of this scene using it as an explanation, the machine work is referring to the mind - the uncontrollable though process and behaviour patters that run our lives. Our realities as humans are different. Mine just expanded by this, thousands of times, putting everything i had experienced in life into a different perspective.
It felt like stepping outside of a mist into clear air.